Thursday, 12 July 2012

i have writer's block now !!! WOOT WOOT

i have writer's block, it seems that the creative juices that used to flow in my head are not flowing anymore, and that passion that i used to have in the beauty and poetry of the written word fails to excite my heart an soul the way it used to.

i feel as if i am constantly stuck in a cloud of sorrow, a cloud that veils my creativity, and shadows my inner light, making me unable to shine the way i wish to, the way i want to.

i don't know how i am supposed to go on this way, with all this darkness in my soul hindering my growth and ability.

there are so many things that i think about, that make me restless take away my sleep at 2 in the morning, so many unfulfilled desires and needs, so many thoughts and words that need vent, so many emotions that i have not been able to color with my words on the parchment of my reality.

i feel like a fuming volcano, not being able to pen my words, not being able to think freely is having such a bad impact on my psychology, i am constantly irritable, constantly angry, always in a bad mood, not really caring about what i should do, and what i can or could do.

back when my mind was under my command and this void these fumes of confusions had not yet gripped my mind, i was carefree, and i had a beautiful soul, and such beautiful thoughts, then for reasons not known to my, my mental utopia was engulfed in the fumes of this senseless void, and a darkness engulfed my mind, consuming my creativity and part of my sanity.

i walk senseless, unfeeling and uncaring of the world around me, not really knowing what i am doing and not really knowing where i am going, losing all sense of my direction and sense of belonging.

these feelings of isolation never go away, always inside my mind i feel that i have nothing more to go on with, always i am stuck thinking how to go on. and in my confusion i lose all coherence.

this writer's block will be the end of me, i wish there was some way i could break free of these vices that grip my mind.

sometimes i get surprised over the fact that something so simple as an thought born of the ether could trap a mind such as mine, not saying that my mind is brilliant than anyone else, but the mere fact that something can debilitate the powers and extent of the human mind is simply astounding.

i believe the human mind to be the most dynamic of machines, capable of sustaining itself indefinitely, able to self repair, able to recover from critical failure, able to perform under immense stresses, yet still so weak as to be trapped in the musings of a simple thought born of the ether.

i wish i had studied psychology and read more about how the human minds works, i would then perhaps have been able to control what had been happening to me.

still. all can ask for not are prayers of those who stuck with my musings for this long and have read to the end of the passage, i don't know why you read what i write, perhaps what i write resonates with you, i hope i am able to give you a sense that you are not the only one out there facing the things you are, that would give me some peace and equilibrium.


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i want to make you a mirror,
your words will reflect what i mean
will you leave me a comment
and let me know how i look ?

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