The Curse of the Millennial Generation - instant gratification and endless procrastination

Being a freelancer, i experience having both the gift of time on one hand, and on the other i experience mind exhausting busyness and engagement in my activities.

These endless cycles of work and rest however eventually start weighing down on me, like a physical weight, bearing down on my shoulders and holding my head down , it feels like iron bands wrapped around my temples, stifling creativity and capacity for ingenuity when i need it the most. I don't know why i succumb to procrastination so often, i don't know how many of you out there reading this post will be able to connect with that feeling of mental paralysis that accompanies a long bout of procrastination, but i think most of you will kinda get it.

I think it's this Millennial lifestyle we all lead, with excessive periods of highs and lows that's to blame, with us binging out entire seasons of shows on weekends wearing pajamas and eating snacks, or hanging out with friends excessively having conversations about things we consider to be important and then experiencing the isolation of having to come back to our homes and rethink our conversations , looking at the lives of those we call friends through the biased lenses of social media and having to rethink our relationships constantly based on what others say or post or don't post, feeling a sense of constant social anxiety and pressure to experience the approval of our peers.

Our modern lifestyles have both isolated us by giving the illusion of constant connection while giving us opportunity to experience gratifying high's at the push of a button when we feel momentary sadness and isolation. We constantly suffer the withdrawal of those minor gratifications which we inject into our system, no more episode depression is actually a thing now, when you're done watching a show and all episodes are finished you kinda feel all dead on the inside.

I can spend hours watching cat videos and funny fail videos and failed prank videos and videos on survival and crafting ( because i believe the zombie apocalypse is going to happen someday ) and get a natural high from all those experiences that i can enjoy through the power of the internet at my fingertips, but when i am done watching all that, what i have to look forward to is either work or long periods of nothingness and that dead empty hollow from the inside all consuming self loathing feeling, until a find the next high that is.

This attitude of running from one high to the next, this scrolling to the next post, like a zombie attached to a screen with invisible strings attached to a greater thing ( the internet ) is affecting me at a deep level, and it's getting harder and harder to overcome the blocks of creativity that is suffer periodically.

Perhaps it's my depression and anxiety talking, ( which i believe is another gift constant consumption of internet content has given me ) perhaps it's something else. all i have realized is, that 5 years back when i was constantly occupied with the challenges of a mundane job and i achieved my tasks on a daily basis, at night i used to sleep easy knowing that i'd run my grind and my brain shut off and i went to sleep, perhaps it was intellectual or economic slavery to slave master corporations but i was kinda happy with the daily grind, this having too much freedom is wearing on my soul in ways that are irreparable.

i am gradually becoming of the opinion that too much freedom could be a bad thing ! 

do you agree with me ?  do you disagree with me ? let's have a battle on le internet in the comments section below :D 

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Binge Watching Rhett and Link on Good Mythical Morning

So, there are tons of things that i sink my time into on a daily basis, it could be anything from random articles and documentaries, to books or comics that friends have referred to me or entire seasons of shows.

I am one of those millennials who has to totally binge out on all episodes of a season that my friends recommend to me in a single weekend locked away in my room eating snacks in bed torrenting 3 episodes while i watch one episode, the problem with this method is that there are very few shows that are really worth watching these days, most don't appeal to me, shows that have a passing interaction with science or an exceptional plot are the only true exceptions and such shows are rare.

There came a time when the list of good shows dropped down to zero and my life was empty and binge free but by this point i had gotten so addicted to bingeing that i couldn't imagine life without bingeing.

That was when i started browsing youtube for good channels and came across good mythical morning, i believe my first mythical video was will it pizza and from the first video i was hooked.

i think i've seen all the videos there are worth watching for the good mythical morning channel, i totally recommend the channel for people who want light humor at lunch in the office this show is just simply awesome !

fair warning tho..if you're watching an eating contest.. link's gonna barf.. so don't tell me i didn't warn ya before :P

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Reflections on Consciousness and Reality

It is sometimes fascinating to observe to what lengths nature has gone to, to sustain the construct of consciousness in all it's forms, if i were to say that stars love to think and look at themselves perhaps i wouldn't be wrong, the wolf of today that howls at the moon was the carbon atom of yesterday born inside a dying star after all.

All of the activities we perform are primarily to sustain our consciousness and for the propagation of our genetic code, it is the defining prerogative of all life, to continue to live and propagate, but on the other hand if i look at this system critically, i see flaws. consciousness perhaps isn't perfect because it overrides genetic prerogative, people kill themselves sometimes , we have been genetically programmed to keep ourselves alive yet the thinking feeling intelligent human does take his own life, what does that tell us. Perhaps the thinking feeling human has surpassed the laws or limitations of his own fundamental nature, it is however a rare occurrence for a human to kill himself, it is not common practice. The simple fact that it does not happen all the time everywhere counts as proof that it might only be an imbalance or imperfection in the construct itself.

The organization of matter in this universe leads me to ask certain questions of myself, matter is as we know energy expressing itself in slow vibrations, matter clumps together to form atoms, the building blocks of everything, atoms clump together to form molecules, molecules clump together to form complex chains of molecules, that end up giving rise to complex programmable sequences of code that have the ability to replicate themselves, from this ability of self replication is born the first fundamental unit of life the cell, this cell in turn learns to clump together to form a multicellular organism, which learns to function together to form even larger more organized and specialized multicellular organisms, and over many eons of testing and evolution comes the modern human, consciousness in mobility.

what comes after ?

collective consciousness ? supra consciousness ? there are all sorts of theories about what happens to consciousness after the death of the body, all religions have their ways of explaining the afterlife, the soul.

what if consciousness does behave like that what if it ends , what if it does not end, if we look at consciousness like we look at other forces of nature and understand its comings and goings by applying the law of conservation of energy, the human soul the thinking feeling part of us the consciousness itself perhaps all it does is change it's form.

The question i find myself asking is, are memories left behind ? or do the leave with the soul ? when the soul leaves the body the consciousness ends from the mortal frame does it take with it the constituents of it's habitation , experiences, memories or does it leave in a more rudimentary form.

we have yet to understand the phenomenon of consciousness in it's entirety, so far we know that memory is a molecule but can we bring consciousness down to our observable methods and link it to matter ?

perhaps some day it will happen, some day we will have the technology to see within the heart of the atom and see consciousness within it

perhaps someday we will see within each atom of matter the beating heart of all creation.

perhaps consciousness much like gravity only expresses itself at a significant enough level of organization and not before, how singularly exhilarating would it be to look within the atom and see the seeds of all souls ever created knowing that everywhere and everything is life

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